Oh no it's faux

Some folks use thin layer of stone

On or in their treasured home

I try hard to hide my sneer

When I see that stone veneer.

 

One quick look and I know

It’s not stone, it’s really faux

Fiberboard is all the rage

You want rock? Get Jimmy Page.

 

‘Cuz nothing makes a mason ache

Like cheesy rock that’s all fake

Every mason quickly knows

You bought that crap at the Lowe’s.

 

“But cultured stone” they quickly say

Means I’m cultured any way!

Sorry if your feelings are hurt,

There’s more culture in yogurt.