Some folks use thin layer of stone
On or in their treasured home
I try hard to hide my sneer
When I see that stone veneer.
One quick look and I know
It’s not stone, it’s really faux
Fiberboard is all the rage
You want rock? Get Jimmy Page.
‘Cuz nothing makes a mason ache
Like cheesy rock that’s all fake
Every mason quickly knows
You bought that crap at the Lowe’s.
“But cultured stone” they quickly say
Means I’m cultured any way!
Sorry if your feelings are hurt,
There’s more culture in yogurt.